Family
Thursday, March 27, 2014
A Peak Into My Soul
I have always been a very sensitive person. As a child I remember crying if someone looked at me wrong or laughed at me for doing something cute. As a teenager the constant "don't be so sensitive" and tough love from some of my siblings did little to stop the feelings. I just learned to not show them. Even through my adult life the sensitivity is still there. I'm constantly trying to hold back tears from this or that. I usually don't voice my true feelings because I shouldn't be "so sensitive". I'm sure many times my husband inwardly rolls his eyes each time I'm struggling with one thing or another thinking to himself, "here she goes again." It's a bit irritating to me that I'm hurt so deeply by seemingly such small things. I try so hard to brush it aside and once I think that I'm over it, all the same feelings come up again. I want so badly to be the strong independent women that doesn't rely on the encouragement of others to feel good about herself. I want to be happy for those in my life that have good things going on for them. Instead I wish it was me doing those things or wishing I'd been included. So, what is one to do? Pretend that I'm the strong independent women who lets life's struggles roll off her back? Or come to grips with the very sensitive women I am, who lets the tears fall and voices her feelings? I guess it comes down to if I care what others think, and unfortunately, I do care. The conclusion I've come to is I need to decide which people I care what they think of me, and go from there. Maybe I can find a happy medium between the strong independent and the very sensitive. Who says I can't be both?
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2 comments:
Make a "God Box"! My "God Box" went a long way to helping me overcome my ultra- sensitivity. It is a box where you put the things that God will have to take care of because you just can't.
I took a shoebox, covered it with beautiful paper, cut a hole in the top, and wrote the serenity prayer on a piece of paper and stuck to the outside of the box; "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Every time something happened to me that made me upset and that I had no control over I wrote it on a piece of paper and stuck it in the box. For instance, I have no control over the dirty looks people give me when they judge the behavior of my ADHD child. I drew a picture of a person giving me a dirty look and put it in the box.
As I put things in the box I started to think about what I CAN control. I found I could change the way I reacted to my ADHD child in a way that didn't say to him, "You are making me look bad" and instead said, "I love you and I can be patient." When I shifted my focus to the things that I could control or change I felt so much better and my reactions to the world changed.
It helps me stop the little hurts of the world from bothering me. They can only bother me until I have realized that they are beyond my control, and then I give them to God and move on.
Collette you are wonderful and I love this idea!
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